| I said good day |
[May. 13th, 2004|10:36 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| |  aggravated | ] |
| [ | music |
| | Hoobastank-The reason | ] |
I have a newfound strength. Strength to say NO, leave me alone, you won't hurt me anymore.
However, the hurt continues when I find new stuff out. It makes me sick.
To all my buddies at LC, have fun at prom and be safe!! Use condoms and don't drink and drive!
I love you guys. Rock out hardcore.
XOXO
Jamie
I'm not a perfect person As many things I wish I didn't do But I continue learning I never meant to do those things to you And so I have to say before I go That I just want you to know I've found a reason for me To change who I used to be A reason to start over new And the reason is you I'm sorry that I hurt you It's something I must live with everyday And all the pain I put you through I wish that I could take it all away And be the one who catches all your tears
This song is beautiful. |
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| xanga.... |
[May. 12th, 2004|08:58 am] |
So I have a xanga now for all of you who might care. I'll still write on here though.
www.xanga.com/xxtrustnoonexx
XOXO
Jamie |
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| Sell Body!!!!!! |
[May. 11th, 2004|11:10 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| |  confused | ] |
| [ | music |
| | Bright Eyes- Lover I dont' have to love | ] |
Joey called me today. He wanted me to come to the beach...interesting.
Yesterday he says he hates me and today he wants me to go to the beach with him...odd.
I told him to call tomorrow, lets see what happens.
In other news, I love my hair and I started my job today. It was lame online training which means I sat in front of a computer for 3 hours "training" Yeah so I need to go to bed. Loves and Hugs!!
Kitty...Britt...if I don't see you guys soon I'll die. DIE. XOXO I miss you guys more then Fannie Mae chocolate!!
Love's an excuse to get hurt...and to hurt...do you like to hurt?
Then hurt me. |
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| Best prom weekend ever!!!!!! ooooooooooh yeah |
[May. 10th, 2004|11:07 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| |  melancholy | ] |
| [ | music |
| | Saves the Day- At Your Funeral | ] |
Here's the breakdown of the weekend that rocked my socks to the max!!!
Friday- AP test...the big national one that says if I get college credit or not. Well lemme tell ya that bitch was hard. Then prom stuff, my hair was amazing. Mmmm. Prom was so great, it was so much fun. Wooo!! Then downtown after where nobody could get their shit together but it was still fun.
Saturday- Navy Pier, lots of fun with Tara. I love that girly girl. Then we went out after and we had loads more fun together. Kevin came with us and he's pretty fun.
Sunday- Out with Tara and Kevin...good times until Joey refused to come talk to us. That's gay.
Today- Me, Tara, and Steph went to the beach and it was fantastic. Then it was off to my house to dye hair. Mine has blonde streaks and its pretty damn sexy. So then we went to return joey's movie and he was being a cock. He says that he's going to take a shower which we take as "get the hell out" so we leave and then he calls and ask why we didn't stay. I don't get it. I don't know if you read this anymore Joey but yeah what happened sucked but don't be a dick to me. You can at least talk to me about it instead of ignoring me. Because that is gay. |
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| its that time again...nervous breakdown time |
[May. 4th, 2004|10:50 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| |  drained | ] |
| [ | music |
| | Maroon Five-This Love | ] |
This week is killing me...killing me slowly so that by the time its prom, I will be dead.
The national test for AP history is also friday and I'm scared. If I don't get college credit my mom will murder me for having to pay $82 for nothing. So I've been studying so much this whole week. Ahh. Plus I had to write an essay tonight. Well that essay sucked. Its a page and a half, Jeez...thats so shitty. Oh well, you make an essay due 2 days before the national test you get shitty results.
Thursday is the Art show at my school 6-8....whoa, I don't like most of the stuff I have in there....ok everything but one piece. Maybe 2. I'm still excited though.
Friday is prom...OH man, I'm so excited. I have everything I need except for makeup and hair dye. Isn't that exciting?? It is to me!!
I have to get back to my studying now....Ugh.
My pressure on your hips Sinking my fingertips Into every inch of you Cause I know that's what you want me to do (That's so dirty...I love it!) |
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| I wish I knew |
[Apr. 29th, 2004|06:45 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| | angry | ] |
I wish I knew I'd get stabbed in the back for trusting people....AGAIN. Man my friends are pretty great. and by great I mean terrible.
I had a good talk with Amanda about this and we decided not to tell anybody anything...EVER You know why? Because people are fucking cocks. It's not my fault that some people don't respect themselves enough to keep their fucking pants on and when I do something wrong they have to go tell everyone. Well ya know what? FUCK EVERYONE. (Brian this is not directed towards you because I know you think all the bitching on here is for you...well it usually is but not this time)
I cant' wait to graduate now. I'll start a new life in Chicago where nobody knows me and maybe then I can be happy.
On to happier things. British darling, you're not the only prom nazi, I'm the prom nazi too. Woo, we are 2 sexy prom nazis!! I miss you too much though!! Prom is one week from tomorrow!!! Oh man I'm so excited!! We have no plans for right after prom though...Ahhh But we've decided that Saturday we'll go downtown all day, eat at Ed Debevic's and then go to Second City. Woot Woot. However, on friday night we were going to go to navy pier and ride the ferris wheel until we found out it closes at 10!! Uh oh. |
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| sunny monday and nothing's going my way |
[Apr. 26th, 2004|10:47 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| |  determined | ] |
| [ | music |
| | Rascal Flatts- Mayberry | ] |
I didn't go to school again today. Its not like I'm missing anything. I woke up and my mom was taking Bailey to the vet to get his teeth cleaned so I went back to bed, later to lie about not setting my alarm. I slept til about 10:30 which was quite yummy.
Mom and I went grocery shopping today and then we went to pick up my prom dress. This was about our 4th attempt, whenever we say we're going we end up getting lazy and staying home. This time we got to the shop only to find out it's closed on mondays. Stupid Lansing, the whole damn town is closed on Mondays. Then I went and ordered Luie's flowers which are very nice if I do say so myself.
Then home to work on this research paper. I got very very frustrated but then I started to flow. Then I decided to tweak all the settings to make it longer because I fear that I won't make it to the 8 pages that it must be. I have 2 pages done and the 6 others to do tomorrow along with the works cited and the outline. Ahh. I'm nervous, I forgot that last time I procrastinated until the day before a research paper was due, it was due on a Monday so I had all of Sunday to do it. Ooops. I'll get it done though, I always do. I work best under pressure.
14 days of school left. Fantastic.
I miss Mayberry, sittin on the front porch drinkin ice cold cherry....coke |
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| Well isn't that just peachy keen... |
[Apr. 25th, 2004|08:08 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| | exhausted | ] |
| [ | music |
| | Cyndi Lauper- True Colors | ] |
I had a lot of fun this weekend.
Friday I went to see the play for the 2nd time because my mom wanted to go. It was even better, good job Tara I love you!
Then it was time for senior sleepover, it was great. It was the most fun I've had in a long time, I guess as much as I say I want to leave that school, its times like that that make me think that I'll miss it a lot. I mean whoa, we've got prom and then senior week and we're done, everyone's going away. Ok enough of that!
Saturday I woke up waaaaaayyy too early and me and Brian watched Jurassic Park 3 before we went to see Kill Bill volume 2 but we fell asleep and didn't end up going to see Kill Bill. Ha I tricked you! I'm so clever. I fell asleep again around 7 but people kept calling, like Joey...we broke up, I think its for the best.
Today I went to Chicago and me and my parents went to Roosevelt so they could see the campus and I fell in love with it all over again, I'm so excited. We went to the library and I got more books for my research paper that is due on Wednesday that I haven't started yet, actually I changed what I'm writing about while I was searching for books and I will most likely change it again before I begin to write it. OOOh well. I got a chocolate chip muffin today, MMMMM I'll go eat that now.
Disclaimer: The lyrics that I put are not always about what I think, or will do, so Brian I wasn't planning on stabbing you. Well not totally. =P
I can't remember When I last saw you laughing If this world makes you crazy And you've taken all you can bear You call me up Because you know I'll be there And I see your true colors Shining through I see your true colors And that's why I love you So don't be afraid to let them show Your true colors, true colors True colors are shining through I see your true colors And that's why I love you So don't be afraid to let them show Your true colors True colors are beautiful, Like a rainbow |
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| Speranza is Italian for hope. |
[Apr. 21st, 2004|09:55 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| |  embarrassed | ] |
| [ | music |
| | Tool- Crawl Away | ] |
Nothing in particular is wrong. So I wasn't totally lying. It's my fault for being stupid.
I don't hate you I just don't understand you.
I do however hate me.
GET OVER IT.
DONE.
That was easy...if only it were that easy.
Just forget you read this, I needed to vent.
What you try to say is you don't wanna play. But what you want and what you need don't mean a fuck to me. I can see your back is turning. If I could I'd stick the knife in. |
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| This just in...this week blows. |
[Apr. 20th, 2004|10:28 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| |  blah | ] |
| [ | music |
| | Dashboard Confessional | ] |
So I've got 18 days of school left and I'm ready to die. I have 11 chapters of Grapes of Wrath to read and I don't care. The good news is that I don't have to take a final for health so I don't have to go to class that day or something. woo.
My car is finally legal, I got my city sticker today, so thats good I guess.
Well my day sucked so I don't know why I even posted. A boredom post I guess.
Babysitting tomorrow, mmm money. Boo kids.
I've been in such a shitty mood lately, all I want to do is well...nothing. Hmm thats probably not good. Oh well, I'll get over it.
XOXO
Jamie |
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| Thats right I stole this from Andrew |
[Apr. 19th, 2004|11:03 pm] |
1: Grab the book nearest to you, turn to page 18, find line 4. Write down what it says, the whole sentence:
Connie and Clifford had now been nearly two years at Wragby, living their vague life of absorption in Clifford and his work.- Lady Chatterley's Lover, DH Lawrence
2: Stretch your left arm out as far as you can. What do you touch first?
Cheez-It snack mix
3: What is the last thing you watched on TV?
The Simpsons
4: WITHOUT LOOKING, guess what the time is:
10:42
5: Now look at the clock, what is the actual time?
10:51
6: With the exception of the computer, what can you hear?
That 70's Show
7: When were you last outside? What were you doing?
About an hour and a half ago. Putting my car in the back.
8: Before you came to this website, what did you look at?
letssingit.com
9: What are you wearing?
White tank top and blue pants.
10: Did you dream last night? What about?
I don't remember but it could be something horny, haha.
11: When did you last laugh?
Sunday when I was with my dad, lots of laughs.
12: What is on the walls of the room you are in?
purple paint
13: Seen anything weird lately?
I saw the Goonies in Spanish the other day.
14: What do you think of this quiz?
It's interesting, I'm sorta tired so my answers aren't very interesting though.
15: What is the last film you saw? In theaters?
The Girl Next Door, you can't go wrong with porn stars falling in love with teenage boys.
16: If you became a multi-millionaire overnight, what would you buy first?
A plane ticket to Venice.
17: Tell me something about you that I don't know:
Well you probably don't know it because I don't want you to know. So ha.
18: If you could change one thing about the world, regardless of guilt or politics, what would you do?
While Andrew's answer about genitals was quite interesting, I would get rid of bad weather.
19: Do you like to dance?
Hell yeah, dancing is great. The only sad part is that I can't dance....oh well its still fun!!
20: George Bush:
Killer.
21: Imagine your first child is a girl, what do you call her?
Sophia Bella, I heard that name the other day and I was like WHOA thats a pretty name!
21: Imagine your first child is a boy, what do you call him?
Oliver. Thats right he'll get his ass kicked but I love that name.
22: Would you ever consider living abroad?
I wouldn't consider it, that's my dream!! |
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| When will the world stop kicking me in the ass? |
[Apr. 19th, 2004|10:33 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| |  nostalgic | ] |
| [ | music |
| | Deftones- Good Morning Beautiful | ] |
Stop dancing around the issues.
Stop telling me lies.
Stop avoiding it.
TELL ME THE TRUTH.
BE HONEST.
I can handle it.
I've handled it before.
Mmmm this song is yummy. Props to Chris.
One of these days you'll break me of many things some cold white day, but you're crazy if you think I would leave you this way... You should wake up before the wrath comes ( me and you ) could take off before the wrath comes... soon... And one of these days I pray it will be sometime soon on a day like today, you'd be crazy not to want me to teach you the way... |
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| With your powers combined, I AM CAPTAIN PLANET |
[Apr. 18th, 2004|09:56 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| | discontent | ] |
| [ | music |
| | Incubus-I miss you | ] |
MMmmmm the beach. That is good stuff. It will be better when the water gets warmer though. Bah.
So I was in my room looking for music to listen to when I stumbled upon my old Incubus cd and I decided to put it in. What happened to my interest in that band? They are fantastic.
To see you when I wake up Is a gift I didn't think could be real. To know that you feel the same as I do Is a three-fold, utopian dream. You do something to me that I can´t explain. So would I be out of line if i said I miss you. MMmmm now that's good stuff.
I've never put lyrics in the middle of a post but ya know what? Thats where they're going! Ha!
I'm in such an odd mood today, I'm not quite sure what to do with myself. I'm going with hormones, its gotta be hormones. I'm definetly sick of being so shitty feeling, so...empty. I need something to fill me up but I'm not sure what that would be. I feel so useless, like I have no purpose right now and you know what? That sucks. Waa waa bitch bitch, that's all I do. But thats what this is for, right?
I'm ready to run away, who is coming with me? |
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| passionate kisses oooo oh ooo oh |
[Apr. 18th, 2004|04:17 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| |  curious | ] |
| [ | music |
| | Rascall Flats | ] |
Last night was Tara's party. It was pretty fun except for the cats that I was allergic to. I'm really really tired today though, arrrgh.
Drunken talks....hmmm those are always interesting and then confusing. Did he say that stuff because he was drunk or because he meant it? I'm going with drunk.
Daddy took me to BW3s for wings and the Cubs game, Yumm.
Going to the beach with Amber...talk to you folks later.
MUAH! |
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| haha |
[Apr. 17th, 2004|04:36 pm] |
Well that's interesting. |
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| That's not what I heard. |
[Apr. 17th, 2004|01:03 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| |  accomplished | ] |
| [ | music |
| | Finch-Without You Here | ] |
Well Spring Break has been quite fun.
Wednesday I went to Chris' house for awhile and whatnot. That was pretty fun too.
Thursday was BW3s with the girls which was entertaining with the fun pictures that Tara took. Oh yeah they were pretty hot.
Last night I didn't really do much, I watched the Yankees lose and then me and Joey were hanging out here.
Tonight is the last night and I'm going to party, woo! I'm excited. Today is also Brian's birthday so happy birthday even though I tried to call you. Umm if you have no plans for tonight, call me cuz Tara's havin people over.
Oh yes and I have 2 jobs now. Sears Appliances and Mrs. Fields Cookies....hmmm I wish one would call with hours. They both said I have the job but I haven't started, I need money!!!!! I'm so broke I have to borrow money from Steph for drinks tonight, Argggh. I hate borrowing money, I want my own money!!!! Oh well, soon enough.
To her own reflection she says, I will hold on
To her own reflection she says, I will be strong
Am I losing you?
I'm waiting, I'm waiting til its over, its over now |
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| The future is staring me in the face and I'm scared. |
[Apr. 11th, 2004|10:35 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| |  listless | ] |
| [ | music |
| | The Darkness-I Believe in a thing called love | ] |
Happy Easter everyone. I'm in a good mood today, mostly because of the food and candy, mmm.
Damn it, people know I'm all crazy, why do they say stupid shit to me? It boggles my mind.
However, I have my 2nd interview at Sears Appliances tomorrow at 10, wish me luck!! I hope I get the job, I'm so broke. And I mean broke. I have $10 that I will spend on gas tomorrow. Arrgh.
This boy makes me happy and that scares me. Betrayal is on its way. Or maybe it already came, I'm not sure because I don't know who to believe. I don't know what to do and I hate it. My mind is telling me fuck him, he's not worth getting hurt later but then again I'm having fun, he's fun and sweet. AHHHHHHHHH!!! I hate confusion. Can't someone give me the right answer?? Probably not. Bah.
Well I'm off to bed so I can actually wake up tomorrow. Smooches everyone.
XOXO
I want to kiss you every minute every hour every day...... |
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| Grow up cockholes!!!!!!! |
[Apr. 6th, 2004|11:11 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| | distressed | ] |
| [ | music |
| | DC-Carve....(thats right, once again with my depressing anthem) | ] |
So here's the update...Joey asked me out yesterday and I said yes...so I'm all lalala happy and whatnot.
He calls later and says that Justin threw a party last night and he didn't sleep and he was all pissed off because he wanted to sleep because he had to work today. He said some stuff about some drunk skanks trying to get with him but he said he wasn't havin that. Plus last night he told me so much about how trust is so important and he would never cheat on me and blah blah blah.
Then I'm talking to Amber and she tells me that Jon says that Joey fucked some girl last night. Seriously, I don't need this drama/stress right now. Jon and Justin and them all don't like me now for some unknown reason, or because of Jessica, whatever, I don't care. Except for that Joey says that they don't like us being together but that he doesn't care. Hmm...so they could be saying that Joey is fucking other girls to get me to break up with him. OR he could be doing it because damn thats what happens to me.
Fuck this shit. You assholes need to grow the fuck up, you're out of highschool, get a job and act your age. This is bullshit that people that I don't give a shit about are trying to ruin my happiness. So now I don't know what the fuck to believe because I don't know Joey's past, he just moved here, he could be lying about everything, how would I know?? I don't do very well with trust as it is, I don't need fucking cocks doing more to fuck me up.
I hate the world. I trust nobody.
I'm ready to be alone forever. |
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| Oh dear |
[Apr. 4th, 2004|09:45 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| |  horny | ] |
| [ | music |
| | nfg- All Downhill from here | ] |
So...last night was the duct tape show. Mmmm it was fantastic. The first band was Screaming Monkey Boner...haha great name but even better band. They were amazing. I thought their bass player was the only one that could compare to Travis. Which was later revoked when Travis played his usual solo about 3 times as fast as normal. Yum. Then came the Hired Geeks. They suck and they had some asshole that was dancing and throwing elbows all over the place. I don't care if everyone is moshing and I get pushed but when nobody is moshing and one guy is hitting everyone, he should die.
DTM was amazing. They all wore funny short shorts, haha fantastic. Travis was great, as usual.
Oh yes on the way there me and Steph heard the new New Found Glory song and my pants were thoroghly creamed.
I had to be home early to go with my mom to pick up my dad from the airport. Bah, that means no pie with Kitty. DAMN IT.
Well tomorrow means school and Joey's birthday. Fun times. |
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| take me home |
[Apr. 3rd, 2004|03:49 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| |  amused | ] |
| [ | music |
| | Story of the Year-Until the Day I Die | ] |
Yesterday was a lot of fun. Me and Stephanie did end up going to breakfast and we went to Aunt Sally's this time and everyone was there. We ate so much, mmmmm it was great.
At school I did absolutely nothing all day, that was pretty cool.
After school I went to pick up the car and then dinner and getting my chucks. I went with pink low tops. At first I didn't want them because everyone has them but I love them so I'm happy.
Eileen was with so when Joey called, we all hung out and went to Round the Clock for awhile but ended up back at my house to watch movies. Eileen went online and me and Joey were watching Once Upon a Time in Mexico and we fell asleep around 2:45 or so. Eileen came in and woke me up at about 3:20 and we tried to wake Joey up but this kid would not get up. He didn't move, we tried for 20 minutes. I've never known someone to sleep that deep, it was insane and very funny. I finally went in my mom's room and said that Joey wouldn't wake up and she said well just leave him there so we took off his boots and the 3 of us slept in the living room. It was fun, slumber party at my house. I'm suprised my mom didn't care. Good job mom.
Today is the Duct Tape Mustache show and hopefully pie with Kitty later. Mmmm pie. Mmmmm Kitty. Woohoo. |
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